Nagahisa's Little Brother
by seerstella
Summary: Nagahisa reminisces some times that Kuon is really his little brother. Translation of 'Adik Kecilmu, Nagahisa', with the change into 1st POV.


Title: Nagahisa's Little Brother

Author: Seer M. Anno

Fandom: Warui Koto Shitai

Pairing: slight!Kuon/Nanao dan Mikado/Towa

Genre: Family. AU (Mujihi na Karada's 4th chapter is mentioned, btw). A wee bit of romance.

Warning: slight BL/slash, possible OOCness.

Summary: Nagahisa reminisces some times that Kuon is really his little brother.

A/N: Translation of 'Adik Kecilmu, Nagahisa'. I forgot to say that I want to translate this. Originally written for POV 2 Challenge by Shirei Shou, and this version is actually written for Alison who anon-reviewed my Indonesian version, saying that my Indonesian grammar is bad. I guess using less formal words confused you greatly. Hm. So I changed the POV into 1st one.

Beta-read by KyoyaCavallone17, enjoy!

* * *

**Nagahisa's Little Brother**

**Seer M. Anno**

* * *

You might think that nobody cared about you.

You were wrong, dear brother. Totally wrong.

You were… independent. Yes. That was the only word that could describe you. Mama and Papa always said that you're like a lone plant, which nobody needed to tie you to a stick to be your support.

Your name is Kuon Aikawa, and me, your dear older brother here, is called Nagahisa. You inherited those brown eyes and hair (which weren't really similar) from our parents. Born into a working class family, whose father was needed to be away for business.

Our age gap is pretty far, four years. You know, four years was a long time for two brothers to know each other. But, well, you didn't want to.

Nah. You weren't unwilling...probably because of what was said before. You were too independent for your own good. You didn't need anyone. Even when I tried to hold you when you were only a year old, you resisted. You squirmed, subtly telling me to put you down. When you finally could run on your own and I cheered on you, you only stared like you didn't want to know me, embarrassing me in the middle of the street.

This might sound freaky, but it was frustrating.

Nothing could describe little my feelings other than _frustrating_, even though I hadn't known the meaning back then. The problem was: it was an older brother's job to take care of you. It was a mandate from our parents and the top priority of an oldest son. I knew it more than anyone. But, well... who wouldn't be frustrated if the only brother you had kicked you out his life just like what you did?

Your older brother here almost gave up, Kuon, and almost got into the point of leaving you alone even though I wouldn't stop thinking about you from afar. I was merely eight, and I knew our lives were still a long way to go. You considered me as a brother, but you never really include me in your life. I went into a frenzy looking for you when you were lost, but 'leave me alone' was your only reply.

That was when I decided to leave you alone for _real_.

But when Towa's birth came nearer, everything changed. It was the first time you approached me with that confused expression of yours, and you even climbed to my bed, asking for some assurance. You were only four and a half years old, almost five, and your age gap to Towa would be similar to ours.

"Aniki, if I become onii-san...?"

You never finished the question, but I, your dear brother here, knew the rest of it. Mama and Papa weren't there, only me, while they were preparing themselves in the hospital nearby. Your anxiety was a gem to me, who wanted to reassure you just like our parents reassured me. Who wanted to do his job as the oldest brother.

"You'll like it. It isn't bad." That was what I said, using his eight year old jumbled words.

"I don't want a little brother."

Papa had told me about this. "_Perhaps Ku-chan doesn't want a little brother_." That was what he said. Papa sometimes caught you glaring at Mama's pregnant belly, and asked me to help you understand.

"You'll have one anyway," I pressed. "We're going to have one. You have to take care of him just like I take care of you."

You just snorted (who knew a little boy like you could snort like that!) and said nothing more, but you slept on your dear brother's bed, letting my thin arms circled around you. That time, you didn't mind. You almost made me cry, you know.

But morning came, March 25, and your—_our_—little brother was born. Towa Aikawa is his name, and you were back to your normal self by the time you saw him. You didn't even want to come near Mama's bed and looked at little Towa.

Sometimes, I'm still thinking about this. Even when I'm working, when my mind is supposed to belong to the documents of my workplace. I'm twenty-eight right now, and to be honest, only a few times we shared brotherly moments.

Since before, my time was majorly Towa's, and you were pushed backwards. I regretted it deeply, to be honest, but you weren't like Towa. Who were in the wrong, if you don't want to be approached, Ku-chan?

You weren't Towa. Towa was the complete opposite of you, someone who could be taken care of and spoiled like the... ideal little brother of mine. You only sat there, on the couch, Mama and Papa went away for (another) two days, while I was teaching Towa how to walk. You walked on your own, I remembered, thus I couldn't teach you anything like I did Towa.

We grew older, and Mama and Papa's absence became more and more frequent. It was when I was twelve, they told us that they were leaving for three months, and the possibility of an extension was big. They went home sometimes to check on their sons. I don't want to brag, but I could handle things on my own so nicely I almost didn't need their help anymore. They could leave more peacefully and stayed away even longer.

Probably, in some ways, your dear brother here was just as independent as you were. I even could change Towa's diapers better than Mama did. Mama was impressed, Papa couldn't stop praising, but you only stayed behind, your hand gripped a toy Papa had made for you. I gave you a smile and you gave me a pout.

Who knew what was on your mind back then. But that was when you emerged.

You became Towa's _aniki_. You two played together, and you shared your toys with him even though you almost said nothing. You asked him to do ride a bike around the park. You even attempted to cook for his first day in kindergarten, making yourself late to school for the first time.

You made me couldn't stop laughing back then. The image of you struggling in the kitchen, with the kitchen itself looked like it just exploded. Bowls and plates were everywhere, mostly in the sink. I didn't even know what you were going to cook.

At first, you wouldn't even want to tell your poor brother here, right? You kept your mouth shut and fumbled with whatever you mixed in that bowl, but when I offered himself to clean the kitchen right after you finished even though that would make him skip school, you gave up.

"Omelette, Kuon?" that was what I asked. You merely nodded, and your expression was so funny I laughed so loud. My laughs made you blush, a very rare sight.

"Aniki! Shut up!"

That was the first time I heard you protesting like that. For a while, I felt like we were _really_ brothers, two siblings that could help and laugh at each other. Ten minutes later, Towa's _bento_ was done, you got yourself ready to school, while I was busy pulling our youngest brother out the bed.

Seeing this, I could say I was happy, and also surprised. I had to admit, Towa started to look up at you just like he looked up at your _aniki_ here. He even started to call you 'Ku-nii' just like he called me 'Hisa-nii'.

Since he came to this world, Towa was practically mine. But then you stepped forward and stole his lightning. I couldn't stop thinking about the night you climbed to my bed, your head full with those hateful thoughts towards our little brother. That memory is still fresh in my twenty-eight-year-old mind.

But now everyone could see that you loved Towa, Kuon.

Even though our parents were rarely here and with only two older brothers who showered him with attention, Towa grew. You did too. Both of you grew older nicely, and I here couldn't stop this feeling of happiness and satisfaction as the oldest child.

* * *

Since before, everyone knew you had Papa's traits in you, including your height; and Towa would be petit and lithe like Mama's family. I myself was in the grey area between the two of you.

It was weird to see you being so tall, even taller from me, and I'm the oldest one. You, like what people said, was more mature than your actual age. How true they were, Kuon. Remember when I went crazy when you showed him four piercings on your ears? _Four_?!

"What have you done?!" I scolded, in his panic state he unconsciously tore down his test result. Well, nobody could care less to my bad kanji score.

For the first time in our lives, you smiled at me. I wouldn't forget that smile.

"Aniki, you don't have to worry."

"Of course I do! What will Papa say? Mama? Your teachers? Remember, you're going to high school next year!"

Suddenly you laughed, and worrying me even more. Had you become crazy? Did your silence attitude make you do things like this? Rebelling like _this_? That was the first time you laughed, and we had lived together for twelve years.

"Aniki," you called—and since when your voice sounded _that_ low? "Sensei said it's alright as long as my grades are okay."

That remark of yours turned my face red, since I couldn't even earn good grades in every lesson. You were very bright, even though you look like a delinquent. You even _weren't_ one, you were merely a student with piercings but still wore neat uniforms and had a brilliant brain.

But when Towa followed your footsteps like a lost dog, that was the first time I was furious at you. You did remember when I rushed into your room with a pale face and a mental fatigue, waving the school letter that said Towa was a school delinquent. That was when Towa just got into high school, you at college, and me at the company where I work until now.

"Whose fault is this?! Towa, our beloved brother, a _delinquent_?!" Words spilled out my mouth like a waterfall. "You don't know how shocked I am seeing this, huh, Kuon?! He pierced his ear, he dyed his hair, he got bad scores, and he fought with that kid from the A Class!"

You did know your poor _aniki_ here was subtly blaming you (Towa wouldn't even pierce his ear if it wasn't because of you!), so after I was done scolding, you promised that you would talk it out with Towa, and it seemed all went well because we didn't see more problems for several months.

We did know his friends, fellow delinquents, one was a boy with hair accessories named Yuu Kashiwagi. He's Towa's childhood friend, then he moved to Spain before finally went back to Japan. Towa also befriended this tall delinquent, one since junior high, Ryuichi Shinonome. But after we talked to him about Towa, he agreed to 'take care of Towa'. Maybe we reminded him to his own sister.

You tolerated them, but you kept your distance, again. Probably you thought everything was okay, I could see it, but this time, I didn't really mind. You're old enough to choose your own path of life. Not to mention that you had friends in college, so you weren't as worrying as you used to be. Besides, we had Towa to take care of, I was sure you wouldn't stay away for long.

This time, I was right.

* * *

After several months, Towa came home with that boy. That boy brought was so much unlike Yuu-kun or Ryuichi. He had dark hair and eyes, and he was obviously coming from a rich family. Totally different than us who were...simpler.

Mikado Shirahane was his name. We were cooking Towa's favourite burger when he came. He introduced himself and we were so shocked we dropped the bowls of meat we were holding.

That was when you came closer to me, but I didn't know why. What your poor brother here knew was why Towa couldn't stop talking about this Mikado-kun. You once said probably Towa was in love with him, which was denied fervently. Even so, that still couldn't stop the urge of burying that Shirahane boy alive for confusing our dear Towa.

For Towa's sake, we teamed up. You often calmed me down when he was looking for Towa in panic, or when Towa didn't show up in the restaurant, and when he really did appear but with Mikado next to him, making your poor brother here almost died from cardiac arrest. At those moments, you weren't a lone plant, but you'd become a tall, big tree that could keep your brother's sanity intact. For that, I was grateful.

"Let him," you said one day, as we stalked on Towa and Mikado-kun from behind the bushes. They were supposed to be in the library, why on earth they were here, sharing that ice cream?! What kind of friend was this Mikado-kun?! "He's a big boy now, Aniki."

That was when I felt like he had lost a supporter. It felt as if that tree was suddenly fell. "What are you talking about?!" I couldn't help but to exclaim, rising from my squatting position. "He's our important little brother, Kuon! This is emergency, we should rescue him immediately!"

You only sighed and commented on the camouflage gear I was wearing. Too flashy, you said, and when it succeeded to scare a girl and her mother, I finally agreed to change his clothes. We didn't find anything worth bashing from Towa and Mikado-kun that day, much to my joy.

Time passed. Nothing changed, and I was used to see it, even though he couldn't shake the suspicion towards Mikado-kun. You did the same, and you kept your distance again. I got busier with his work as well, so we were like drifting away. Besides, Towa looked happier with his friendship, what else could we do?

Between these times, our parents were only home when Papa got his holiday, which means once every six months, a week every holidays. Neither of us really minded, since we all were used to be left alone. You didn't even emerge from your room when they came. Towa snuggled in Papa's arms and I was busy cooking dinner with Mama, and we had to drag you out your room, away from your economic assignments.

But when Papa and Mama called from Y Prefecture and told us they couldn't go home in the middle of the year, only on the upcoming Christmas and they weren't even sure about that, you only walked out and went back with a job as a waiter on hand. I didn't know why you did that. But the day later, Mama called and told us they couldn't send us more money for a while. If only you didn't take the job, Kuon!

That wasn't the first time you used your quick wit. You were the only one that understood Towa and Mikado-kun's relationship, and how hard I tried, I still couldn't get the idea of those two. Or maybe I just didn't want to think about it. You and Towa as sweet, protectable little brothers (at least until you meet your other halves) seemed to be a nice thought.

* * *

You used to be a good little brother, Kuon, until that bastard came and acted just like his own little brother.

His name was Nanao Shirahane. I called him 'Nanao-kun', Towa called him 'Nanao-san' just like you did. He called you 'Aikawa', Towa 'Aikawa-kun', and his nicknames for me were quite plenty: 'Aikawa-san', 'Nagahisa-san', and even 'Onii-san' as if we were really brothers. He was in the second year, a year older than you.

Your friendship came crushing down like a sudden tsunami. It was so much like you, Kuon, who would hide things like this. Whatever happened between you and Nanao-kun, it made you two more than just acquaintances. I still remember when you two quarrelled. It was when Nanao-kun asked Towa and himself for a drinking night with Mikado-kun (why on earth was he there anyway?), making us panic when you two suddenly rose and shouted who-knows-what so loud the neighbours could hear us.

But that didn't stop you from seeing him. When Towa and I came home from the hot spring, we almost dropped our eggs (such a pity you didn't come with us, Kuon, you loved those eggs!) when we saw Nanao-kun sleeping on our couch.

You told us there was a stalker (with a debatable gender) which made Nanao-kun had to crash into our house. We didn't ask why he had to crash in _our_ house, why you had to 'take care' of his blanket like that, why he wore your shirt, why there were so many red weird marks around his neck like one on Towa's chest back then. Both of us trusted you, or maybe we just didn't really mind.

Sometimes, if I think about it, I felt left out. As if you and Towa had a secret that couldn't be known. You went out with Nanao-kun, and Towa was like all secret-y and gone with Mikado-kun.

Maybe you two didn't want to hurt my feelings or what, but it was like we were back to our childhood, when you kept your distance and Towa hadn't even born. It felt even worse because Towa, our family's little angel, now was following your footsteps. He resembled you, Kuon, despite of his cheerfulness that came from my side.

Well, let me took the sunny side. Probably it wasn't the right time for me to know whatever you two were going through.

That happened, until 'that' happened. 'That' meant around six months after Nanao-kun brought us sake.

* * *

I don't remember much from that night, all he knew were you called Nanao-kun's phone but nobody answered. You were a boy with strongest intuition between the three of us, and you were worried. Only me (since Towa was already asleep) could see that. I was the only one who watched you walking back and forth, contacting the Shirahanes. Judging from your expression, Nanao-kun wasn't at home either.

That night, you only glanced at your _aniki_ here, murmured a 'Night, Aniki', and went upstairs to sleep. And back then, I thought everything was okay.

Until the next day, you went home from the Shirahane household with a pale face and a bag of your economic books and your waiter uniform, untouched. You didn't even go to work, and seeing your expression, you didn't even called in sick. But that wasn't the problem.

The problem was your pale face and your odd expression. You didn't even say anything to your brothers as you rushed upstairs and slammed the door shut, making us gape in shock. You'd never acted like that—that was more Towa's attitude when he was small—and you were twenty already.

"Hisa-nii, what's wrong with Ku-nii?" Towa asked, and I couldn't answer.

"I'll talk to him," that was what I could say, and Towa merely nodded before went back to his room. Towa (and me, actually) weren't the right people in this kind of situation, but you were also a difficult person to talk to. As if you'd built a fort, shielding yourself even from your brothers.

But you were under stress, we could see that. We much preferred a Kuon Aikawa who kept his distance than a Kuon that (would) shut himself in his room for days. So, I knocked your door, trying to calm you down, like Mama did his own door when he was called '_baka_' for the first time, years ago.

Besides, it was an older brother's job to calm his little ones. I couldn't care less about that fort; he'd climb it and pull you out from any problem you were in.

"Kuon?"

You let the door unlocked, but didn't move when I opened your door, releasing my usual apron, and sat on the chair. You were lying on the bed, wearing the same clothes as before.

"Change your clothes, at least. It's dirty!"

You didn't answer, but at least you moved a bit. I could hear you muttering 'Nanao-san' under your breath, and that was shocking.

"What is it between you and Nanao-kun? Do you have a fight?"

You stared at me, and your face softened. You sat up, pulled off your fluffy-trimmed jacket, but still staring deeply at me. We both kept our silence, waiting whoever spoke first.

"Aniki," you said finally. "What will you do if your beloved wants to break up?"

"W-what?" This wasn't the kind of question I was expecting, and there was surely nothing related to Nanao-kun at all. Your poor brother here only dated once and it was years ago. But for your sake, I wracked my mind, searching for a short but beautiful time with my _kouhai_ in junior high. The memory made my cheeks hotter. "Y'know, Kuon, I-I..."

"It's okay."

You were going to keep your distance, again, and I didn't want that. Before I knew what I was doing, I'd gripped your shoulders, your stoic but confused expression fixed in front of my glasses and forever etched on my mind. "You surprised me, Kuon. I'll answer it, I know you have a problem, I want to help you!"

You stared at me as if I'd dyed my hair pink, but then you nodded.

I let out a sigh. To be honest, your brother here also didn't know what to say. But finally I could make out an answer, "I won't let them go that easily." Because you were the living example, Kuon. Our relationship was like a never-ending tug-of-war, whose winner hadn't yet to be known.

At the answer, you suddenly stood like you were electrocuted. "Where are you going?" I asked, voice rising in panic. "Dinner's almost ready!"

Instead of answering, you looked for whatever-it-was in your closet, making things even more frustrating.

"Kuon! I don't want you out again tonight!"

You were still fumbling in there, so I, annoyed, pulled out my last weapon, the nickname you detested.

"KU-CHAN!"

That was when you stopped. I saw a box on your hand, which was actually a small piggybank (although it shaped as a box), Towa's Christmas present to you. You looked irritated, maybe because of the nickname. Even Towa didn't know you used to be called that, and surely you wouldn't like it if he called you the same.

"Dinner's almost ready." I repeated, knowing that you were listening.

You sighed. "Alright." Then you moved ever so slowly, putting down the piggybank on the table and sat on the bed. "Aniki, why did you say that?"

"What? Calling you—"

"No. About my question."

Why? Why, you asked? Because of you, of course! Because of our life and relationship!

But what came out from my mouth was, "Because maybe... that person isn't serious enough."

That was a weird, cliché answer, but you were so happy you even smiled. It was a wide smile, as if you suddenly knew what to do. But your eyes said something weird, and until the time I think about this, I still hasn't got the idea why you looked like that. Your smile reminded him of your grin when you pierced your ear.

"You're right, Aniki. Thanks a lot."

Then you stood and did the unthinkable. You bent down and pulled me into the second hug in our lives. Then you rushed outside, leaving your poor brother gaping in your room, staring out through the open door.

"HEY! DINNER'S READY! DON'T GO AWAY! KUON!"

* * *

"Aikawa-san."

That snaps me out my thoughts. The images of the past suddenly disappear, replaced by the documents that have to be typed into the company's database. "Huh? What is it?"

"You fell asleep, Aikawa-san."

"Oh, o-okay," I blush, then stood. "I need more coffee."

"None of that," my colleague, Mari, laughs as she ties her hair into a bun. "You worked overtime yesterday, I'll take over for today. Go home and rest."

I say my thanks, and get myself ready for going home. When I reach the nearest bus stop, you're there, standing tall between all the employees. You stand out from all those people, making it easy to see you.

"Kuon!"

I stand next to you, and you only nod. "Aniki."

The bus comes. You sit next to me, and beneath your limited expression, I can see that you're happy. Sometimes, you and Towa pick me from the office and we'll take a walk or eat in a restaurant. But since you're the only one here, there won't be any walk or dinner outdoor today.

"What is it?"

You straighten and stare at me. You say it just as straightforward as you always do. "I want to tell you first, Aniki. I should've told this since ever, but we—me and Towa and Nanao-san—didn't want to hurt your feelings."

"What is it?" Panic starts to rise in me, and I grip your jacket tightly, eyes wild. "What happened?"

You take a deep breath and say, "I've dated Nanao-san for four years and I'll propose to him this October."

Silence.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY, KUON?!"

When the world suddenly turns black, you're ready to support my body. Dear little brother, you won't stop your poor _aniki_ here from having heart attacks, will you?

**FIN.**

* * *

A/N: Finally done translating! This is the first time I've finished a translated project *bows down to a certain someone whose translation project was lost by me* and I'm so happy! POV is Nagahisa's, Kuon was the centre character. This is difficult, 'ya know. Hum. But since I've changed it into Nagahisa's 1st POV, it won't be that difficult anymore, right? ^^

But hope you readers like it! :D


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